Tuesday, April 29, 2014

"The Rose in the Wind."

"The Rose in the Wind."

The appalling and abhorrent abuse, cruelty of abandonment, starvation, negligence and other dreadful actions towards children and/or other living beings have dragged societies into a downfall and/or decay of moral values.
I remember my dear mother used to donate clothing, food and some money to the local Church where they helped orphans, homeless and disabled people in need. My mom had a generous and compassionate heart. 
My dear mom is –now- another Angel in Heaven.
It was a fact that orphan children had a special place in my mother’s heart. I know because I watched her doing it. Then, I felt that I would follow her footsteps about that in some ways.
We all need a good dose of love and compassion for others in need. 
Don’t you think so?
Since my own childhood, my dream has always been to change the world for the better, although I am unable to do it alone. I may need help from brothers and sisters in Christ.
My dear mom took great care of me and my little daughter. 
She was always there for us.

I said that orphan children had a special place in my mother’s heart. I guess she might have felt that she had been an orphan herself, not raised by her own parents, but by her maternal grandparents, aunts and uncles who helped with her upbringing.
You see, my mom lost her Swiss father when she was only 2 years old. He was an artist painter, and had a School Gallery of Art. He was about 47 when he passed away due to liver failure, probably after inhaling paint odor throughout his lifetime. His Italian wife, Rose, my mother’s mom, worked very hard with him. It must have been devastating for my grandmother to lose her husband, especially because they had many children to support. Then, she decided to take a dramatic decision, and place her youngest baby with her own parents.
I can imagine how sad my poor mom must have felt losing her father, and staying away from her own mother and siblings. As a child, she was only able to complete the elementary school. My mom told me she had little clothing, shoes and just a few dolls to play with, which were handmade by her aunts. As a child, she had to work in the house to help her grandparents, aunts and uncles with the housekeeping chores, like homemade cooking, cleaning the house, washing by hand and ironing clothes for the family, baking daily fresh bread, getting their groceries from the stores, and other house chores. 
My mom was not allowed to neither have friends, never get married. 
She did the same to me afterwards…
Her grandparents were Italian cousins born in the mid 1800`s with 14 children -single adults then. She felt as if she was their slave, like most of their own children. 
In other words, they all have to work for the family living in the same house. 
When I grew up, my parents had done the same to me, even though I did my best to please them...
Later on in my life, I found out that my Italian maternal grandmother never visited her little child, my mom. When my mother was in her teens, she looked for her own mom, wanted to spend time and get to know her well. So, she got a job, moved there, and began to support her mother who was getting older and ill. My mom loved her mother so very much, and she was 18 years old back then when they got reunited again, and lived with her dearest mother until her passing at the age of 77. 

My Italian granny from Genova lived with us when I was born. I loved my dear granny very much. Her name was Rose. My mom placed her remains on one of the walls in the cemetery. Many years later, she spread her ashes to the wind, so my Italian granny, Rose became "The Rose in the Wind." 
Nowadays, since I have grown up to become a mom and grandmother too, I often call myself, the rose, la nonna.
This sad story tells that my dear mother carried serious emotional health issues, along with her physical ones throughout her entire short and sad life. These reasons make me forgive her for being too strict with me, especially when she used physical punishment on me to obey rules.
My mom passed away one Summer morning at the age of 60, due to medical malpractice. 
She was alone in the Medical Clinic at that moment. My father was on his way to the clinic, but he would arrive there too late. He never saw his wife alive again. Sadly, I was also far away working and living in New York with my child. You see, I left my mom’s home when I was 23, because I wanted not only to live in New York, but also to live in the land of the free. I was looking for freedom, to free my soul. Then, I was in New York when my dad called me on the phone to tell me the sad news. So, I took a plane with my little 7-year-old daughter, and got to my mom’s funeral as fast as I could. I saw her dead body filled with bruises, and lots of blood coming out from her nostrils. 
Needless to say, I walked away from that situation with a broken heart afterwards…
I had regrets for not being with my dear mother at the time she needed me the most.
Now, I am a senior citizen myself, and looking back…
At times, people may be unreasonable, selfish and self-centered. 
Do the best you can! Forgive them anyway!
Sad memories and shadows follow me, the phantoms of the past won’t set me free…
I am sure God has not done with me yet.


Denise said...

Thanks for sharing your dear heart. I enjoyed the pictures. Please take care, love you.

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

I love seeing the pictures of your family. That is quite a family history. Sorry that there were some hard times in there. No doubt people did the best they could at the time.

Starry Dawn said...

Thank you, Denise and Lisa for caring to visit me and say nice things about my posts!
God may bless you all.